That it's a lifelong process.

Sometimes many lifetimes'.

This is an easy question for me.  I live in an area outside of Los Angeles called Topanga Canyon.  It's the place I've dreamed of living even before I knew it existed.  It is a small village set in the Santa Monica Mountains.  Quiet, serene, fit with coyotes and hawks, and alot of hippie, spiritual seekers and creatives.  But five minutes down the hill, I can enjoy the calming waters of the Pacific Ocean.  Ocean and Mountains was always my ideal living space when I grew up on the east coast.  Now, I've found it.  And moreover, I'm only minutes away from Los Angeles.  While I may surround myself with the hustle and bustle of city life and traffic, I get to retreat every night into the peaceful sounds of nothing but crickets - and the occasionally howling coyote.

It's my perfect balance.

Yes and No.  Evolution is always going to occur, it's the natural way.  With that, every being with the capacity to formulate and digest thought, will become aware more and more as they grow.  It's natural.  A newborn only has about 2,500 neuro-electrical synapses (how nerve impulses are transmitted in our brain in relationship to our sensed understanding of our environment) in the brain's vision center.  It increases to 18,000 at 6 months as the infant begins to see and discern distances.  This happens throughout the brain...we have more and more synapses as we grow and experience life and our senses.  So with that...of course our conscious awareness grows and evolves, it's how we are made.

But do I believe in the hippie / guru-loving ideology of the evolution of human consciousness?  No.  And I'm a hippie / guru loving idealist!  Our current trend is to link the word "consciousness" as a positive, and "unconsciousness" as a negative.  Consciousness just means being aware.  Some people are aware, and still act negatively toward humankind.  Remember...there's a fine line between genius and insanity.

The fact that our science has allowed us to become more aware of our physical existence around us, we have evolved in that sense.  Do I think in 2012, there will be this convergence of this beautiful light that will make everyone declare peace on earth?  No.  Life will continue to evolve in ways we have no idea...because there is no destination, no end to our evolution.  This is life.  Life doesn't end until death. 

In the manner that many people today like to thing of consciousness, our ancient indigenous tribes actually were more there than we are.  They may not have had the same amount of knowledge and technology that we have, but they understood the importance of survival, and that to survive as a tribe and a species, we have to work together as a unit for the greater good of the tribe.  Those that didn't, were kicked out of the tribe, banished.  Our central goals in life for the past 2000 year has no longer been the survival of the tribe...but power, material wealth, and ownership.  That's why we've been damaging the earth without remorse, without thought.  That's why we've been contaminating our bodies with chemicals that are harmful to us.  That's why we've been killing off our brothers and sisters. 

So...with that?  Have we evolved or gone backwards?  Will we evolve?

Remember I'm a Taoist.... I believe in cycles too.

hmmm....didn't mean to get so wordy.

Peace

I hate to get political, but HOPE.  This is what I love about Obama's early campaign.  It was simple....he offered us Hope.  We've been guided and engaged by fear for the last 8 years, we need to change the mentality.  Hope makes no promises, but it is a better place to put our minds.  A person with hope is willing to grow, is willing to make changes, is willing to stand up for that which is right.  A person in fear does nothing...and we've seen so much of this in these last 8 years.  We have been in a war for way too long that serves no purpose, that is a waste of lives and money and has no clear vision or reasoning.  We've been suckered into believing we have to be dependent on oil, when there are hundreds of other technologies out there waiting to be funded enough to provide us with ample amount of renewable energy.  We have a president that has committed so many crimes against our constitution, yet sits peacefully in the White House, while a president who raised employment rate, believed in funding education, and lowered our national debt was ousted for having a sexual affair with a consenting adult.... his wife didn't oust him, who the heck are we to judge?  In other times, the atrocities that this government has created would have caused a revolution, but we've sat back and let it happen, and the results we see today - $5.00 gallon of gas, record numbers of foreclosures, high unemployment rate, banks closing.  Because people have been too damn afraid to see the truth, they've bought into the lies.

Anyway, I believe if we can change the prevalent mentality of the people, we might be able to make changes towards a positive future, but until we do that, we will just be butting up against a resistance created from egos and fear.  I like holding onto hope, and holding onto dreams.  It was the way I survived through challenging times in my life. 

Those of us who believe in a positive future, who believe we can create it, need to stand together and tall and strengthen our vibration.  We need to heal this country, we need to heal this world.  But we can't do it without acting.  Get out and vote.  Let's change this literal shit that our country has been turning into.

PEACE & LOVE!!!

Perfect time to answer this...right after eating a delicious breakfast.  I wouldn't say I have too many rituals about food, except for I like to make a full nutritious breakfast on Sunday mornings.  The rest of the week it's generally cereal or oatmeal...quick and easy. 

Beliefs however... My body is my temple, so I try to keep it clean and well-stocked.  So, I nourish my body as regularly as I can, but without cluttering it up.  I try to put into this temple things that I feel honor it and keep it beautiful, not dirty it up. 

Food is something I believe many of us take for granted.  It's a pinnacle part of our survival, but so many people in this world barely have any.  Next time you are starving, and your stomach is calling out to you, think of those who have to bare that pain daily.  Then you shall honor your food more, and not take it as something for granted.  For this, I savor my food and not waste it.  I know that I am fortunate to be able to explore foods, and not confine myself to rice or bread, like so many do.  I remind myself about this when I eat those all too delicious, but unnecessary treats like cookies and chocolate. :)

Wow! How synchronistic it is to awaken to this question today. I was just writing about my authentic self.  Am I who I think I am?  Or am I who other people think I am?  What if I see myself as one way, but others see me totally different, then which is the truth of who I am?  None of it is truth, because they are only perceptions.  My self-perception and that whom others perceives me to be is not always the same.  So who does that make me?  Who am I?  That whom I try to define my Self as is only a perception, not anything that can be claimed as truth. 

The truth is that I am not the person that I think I am.  Nor am I the person that everyone else thinks I am.  I am continuously growing and evolving, and at any moment the person that I am changes.   Yet, it is intrinsically important to discover one's "authentic Self".  But who can that authentic Self be if it is constantly evolving and growing?  This is the matter of being true to the moment that I presently in.  And moreover, accepting and loving the person that I am at that moment.  This means I have a choice to create myself.

I can choose to be a person that I can love.  That's the kind of person that I want to be.  One that can experience life and reflect on it and say that I made choices along the way out of honesty and integrity.  I will choose to be honest to the moment.  That may mean still that I'm not "always myself".  There are many times in my life where I feel "out of sorts", "in a funk", "not my best"....but it is still who I am at that moment.  I'm still human, and I have chemicals and energetic synapses working in me that I can't always be in control of, and I accept those moments.  I let them pass and then I remind myself who I want to be.  And then I remember I am able to make a choice and be that person.

So I want to be exactly who I have chosen to be.  One who lives her life with complete honesty and integrity and a commitment to being real.

It's not so much as to what I am seeking to become, as to more fully recognize who I am.  I've moved through a lot of self-esteem issues in this last year and have really begun to fully see myself in a brighter light and reflection than I ever did in the past.  This has truly transformed my life.  As I have been able to see the possibility within myself, I've been able to believe more within the possibilities outside of myself and it has helped to push me towards achieving the goals that I have set for myself.  It takes more than the belief in your dreams, but also the belief that you can live those dreams.  Without that, I just found a lot of resistance in myself.  And then the more that those things seemed unattainable, the less I believed in myself.  I've stopped that cycle finally and in this pivotal year I am now seeking to manifest the dreams that I've held onto for some many years but with such little doubt.  I am seeking to truly become the person that kept me pushing on despite the many, many obstacles that I put in front of myself because of the limitations I believed existed. 

It feels good to be freed from those chains.

I do what moves me.

This has been my model for most of my life.  I always follow my heart.  I will admit that this can create anguish, pain, and suffering at times because within the heart I can find emotions, but the heart also holds my truth.  When I work from my mind, or follow my ego's desire to attach, to expect and to fear, I also can find suffering.  So if suffering comes, I am at least comforted by the fact (or it could be just a transient thought) that I stayed true to myself and followed my heart. 

This is a constant struggle and battle of the warrior to challenge the strength of the heart within the human constraints of the ego.  But by constantly filling it with love through meditation, through recognizing the beauty that surrounds us, and by receiving the divine light that we are all able to receive when we decide to open to it, we can heal ourselves through each of those struggles so that we don't close off the heart.  Darkness will shadow us when we close off the heart and we miss the light.

So I move from my heart center...I follow it's calling.  It is where my soul resides, if I want to put a name to that light force that pulls me forward. 

Namaste

His name is Jaime.

Yes, it's a guy.  But he isn't just any other guy, he was another angel that I came across in this lifetime.  Or you may want to call him a soul mate.  I call him my soul twin.   I'm not sure what it is about him, just that he radiates.  Every part of him is luminescent, and from the first moment we met there was a connection.  Throughout a period of about 3 or 4 years he served as a beacon to me.  I never understood it fully, but he could bring me up to face my true self over and over when I forgot or got lost in fear.  He inspires me, and through so I began to look at myself more as to how he manifested in my life.  Why was I looking into that mirror?  What was he reflecting?  When I finally recognized in myself what I had been seeing in him, I realized his light was so visible to me because we were reflecting off of each other to where we became almost blinded.   Throughout many different stages in our relationship, our communion has always been held within a vessel of light.  He was once my lover, and he'll always be my friend.   And may we always be a beacon of light for each other.

Breathe in.

Breathe out.

Feel life cycle through.



Love in.

Love out.

Feel heat warm you.



Just listen, and hear the music of the wind

That flows through your temple,

Each rhythm of breath chimes with your heartbeat

That marks the time of your life.



Each moment.

Each story.

Just a gathering of memories to remind us of our existence.



Connect now to this land.

Lay your body down in the womb of the earth

And let the sun set down across your skin.

Warm your fears with love.

Brighten the passages of pain that has darkened your heart

With the flames of your passionate soul.

You are here to be one

With yourself and all that surrounds you.



Gather the dirt in your hands

And blow wishes to the butterflies that flutter in your belly.

Weep with the thunderclouds that hover above

Igniting the heavens with a orchestra of color

That paint the hues of your past and future.



And feel the winds brush over your kisses.

You are touched by the divine

Like a lovers caress.